Energy Message

Refreshing Leadership

Greetings,

Last week I reported on the unusual and refreshing approach to people by an experienced manager. If you remember he was advising another manager and made this statement,

"Your number one asset is your PEOPLE and you must invest in THEM ALL THE TIME.  Develop plans to make them successful and your success will take care of itself." 

I've had several excellent responses from people, so I decided to write a bit more in my bi-monthly newsletter - Energy Matters Today. This is one of the responses I received from the newsletter and one that I especially liked:

"This is one of the most simple principles in running a successufl business, large or small, but the one that seems most difficult for management to assign top level importance. It sounds good when talked about in the board room or with the press but takes real guts and a long-term perspective to implement. It's not just about making employees happy but about letting them self-actualize.  When that happens on a wide basis, the bottom line generally grows exponentially."

My questions to you are, Why is it so hard to treat people with dignity and respect? Does it take more energy to treat them this way than to treat them with disrespect? I always thought it required less energy to treat people with regard than not? 

I'd be very interested in knowing your thoughts on this subject.

Hope you have a great day,

Dr. Bob

Refreshing Leadership

I received an interesting and encouraging email just this morning that actually relates to the four categories of managers I mentioned in a previous Energy Message.  If you recall the four categories are high focus-high energy, low focus-low energy, low focus-high energy and high focus-low energy.  The smallest, but most efficient group are the high focus-high energy.  According to the research completed by Sumantra and Bruch one of the factors that increases the number of managers with high focus-high energy is the behavior of the CEO.  They suggest that frantic behavior at the top tends to generate frenzied and unfocused managers.  Obviously when top leadership exercises high focus-high energy it tends to generate more efficient managers.

Now, back to the email I received.  It came from a general manager who was advising a friend who had recently been hired to take a management position in a new company.  The refreshing and, I might add, accurate advice was, "Your number one asset is your PEOPLE and you must invest in THEM ALL THE TIME.  Develop plans to make them successful and your success will take care of itself."  Well said!

Best to you,

Dr. Bob      

Leaders Listen and Create Exchange

I had a great response to "When Leaders Don't Listen" from a friend who is in management.  This is what he stated, "I find it interesting that many of the poorest listeners are the ones who call the most meetings.  These meetings are often not about exchanging ideas but about pure theater.  The poor listener is so caught up in their performance as "The Leader" that they need to create more opportunities to deliver their act.  The best leaders may still call many meetings but they tend to say little, creating a forum for the exchange of ideas among their subordinates."

Here is the difference I find in companies - When people have an opportunity to communicate while the boss listens it increases energy 100%.  Energy is always increased when people feel involved, important to the process, and have the opportunity to communicate.  Try not talking as much, listen more, and ask questions and see what happens to the energy of your team. 

Best,

Dr. Bob

Giving the Boss from Hades Time but not Energy!

You can give a person time, but not energy.  I know it seems impossible,
but it's not!  The first step is to accept the person where they are or for
what they are - impossible to deal with.  Here's the deal, we think we
can get everyone to communicate with us.  "Let me get a hold on him,
I'll make him talk!"  That's a myth.  People choose to communicate or
not to communicate.  If he is choosing not to communicate no prompting
in the world is going to make him open up.  So, accepting a person just
as they are allows us to get over our need for them to be the way we
want them to be.  The decision to accept belongs to you.

The second step for giving time, but not energy is to never explain,
defend or justify your actions to this type person.  It's a complete waste
of energy.  Generally he or she is not interested in explanations or
justification.  The more you try to explain the deeper the energy drain
you get yourself into.  Provide facts and ask questions for clarification,
when necessary.  Both of these steps will take time but you won't drain
energy trying to make him a better communicator.

Best to you all,

Dr. Bob

The Boss from the Underworld II

We established in the last Energy Messge that the boss from Hades negatively affects the energy and productivity of a team.  I'm certain many of you have examples you can offer about such a boss, especially examples of how enterprise energy was drained.  The obvious question is, "What do I do about it?"

Here's a good principle to operate by when faced with any difficulty - The responsibility for change is always, always up to me.  When something or someone is causing adversity in my life, it's up to me to do something about it.  All the complaining in the world about another person is not going to make them different.  We can change no one!  All changes come from within me!  Here's a few ideas for dealing with the boss from the underworld:

1) Give this person time, but not energy - Accept him or her for exactly what they are - hard to live with! Never expect miraculous recovery from people who de-energize others.

2) Deal only with facts when you talk with the boss - Don't offer excuses or explanations.  If he wanted them he will ask for them.

3) If the abuse becomes unbearable - Set up a private meeting to let him or her know that this type communication doesn't work for you.  How can we do it better?

4) If you are losing too much energy and it's affecting your life - You can always exercise your "Walk-away Point."  No job is so good that you have to stay and be miserable. 

Best to you all,

Dr. Bob

Dealing with the Difficult Boss

We all know or have read the affects of stress on the body.  If you remain in a stressful situation or relationship sooner-or-later your body is going to react to it.  In most stressful situations it's not "What's the matter with us?" it's "Who's the matter with us?"  The more we over-process our frustration with a difficult person the more stress we will experience.  Keep in mind, when you are thinking about how much you resent someone, you're the one that's having the sleepless nights.  The person you are frustrated with, in all probability, is sleeping like a baby. 

When I was taking karate training I asked the black belt, "What do you really do if a person confronts you on the street?"  His response was "Control and Intent."  He went on to say, "Always control your emotions.  Be alert, but don't get emotional about it.  Secondly, have an intention!  Know what you're going to do before the confrontation happens."  I think that's a great way to deal with a difficult boss as well.  Don't get into the emotions and decide before hand how you want to respond to him or her so you don't waste energy needlessly. 

Best to you all,

Dr. Bob 

The Boss from the Underworld

Have you ever worked for a boss that you firmly believed came from another world?  Over the last few months I have had several people email me with "boss" problems.  Each one described what we might call the "Boss from Hades."   This type boss seems to be committed to making life miserable for every employee.  They are suspicious, critical, and abusive.  But if anyone complains to human resources the response is, "It's his management style - get use to it."  It's almost impossible to get use to a personality that changes daily or, in some cases, hourly.

Here are some questions to consider about this boss:  What does this type boss do to the energy of the team?  What's an effective response to him or her?  If this type boss drains energy, how does that affect productivity?

One of my friends is the CEO of a steel company and very tuned in to what makes a company work.  His definition of success is, "Enterprise energy and the direction of that energy is the key to the success of the enterprise."  In his opinion energy is one of the keys to success in business.  Think about it - when you increase the energy of individuals you are also increasing the energy of the enterprise.  If the boss is draining the energy of people he's also decreasing performance.  It's really simple - if employees have to worry about the boss' behavior they are wasting energy that could be used for productivity.  The job of the boss is to make sure every person is fully energized, so the company is fully productive. 

Best to you,

Dr. Bob

Cutting the boss some slack...

It is difficult dealing with the boss from Hades on a daily basis, but consider this.  It may be his or her behavior is the result of insecurity or low self-esteem.  If you show me a bully I'll show you a coward.  The more pushy a person is the more afraid he is that someone is going to push back.  This belief was confirmed for me in the book The Witch Doctors by Micklethwait and Wooldrige.  They quote a psychologist who asked Senior American Executives, "What they would least want their subordinates to know about them.  In 19 out of the 20 cases the answer was the same.  They feared that their subordinates would learn how inadequate they felt in their jobs."

Now, how much energy do you think it takes for someone to worry about other people finding out how inadequate they felt?  Probably a lot!  So, maybe the boss is really not attempting to be a "jerk," but in reality trying to prove he's competent.  I know, either way, he's still a jerk, but at least this perspective cuts him some slack.  And, maybe help you not waste energy on someone who only feels inadequate.

Who Influenced You?

Leaders have a hard time comprehending the importance of their influence.  In order for you to understand how critical influence is I would like for you to complete this exercise.  Make a list of the five people who have influenced you the most in your life.  That person may be a parent, a teacher, coach, boss, or a dear grandmother.  After you list the name of the person write next to it "how" that person influenced you.  For example, one of the people who had a profound inpact on my life was my Training Instructor in the Air Force.  I had only been in for about three weeks when I decided I had made a very big mistake.  So, in order to correct my mistake, I asked to see the Tech Sgt. who was our Training Instructor.  I told him I didn't believe I fit in the Air Force and wanted to go home.  The only time he spoke nicely to me was the few minutes it took him to say, "Rausch, this is the easy part of life.  If you don't go through the easy parts you will have big problems with the hard parts."  Those few words and his influence had incredible impact on me.  It changed my attitude about how I defined the level of difficulty of things that happened to me.

Who influenced you?  We all have people who molded our behavior by their influence. Some of those people influenced us with their kindness or wisdom.  Some on your list may be people who negatively influenced your life, which caused you to say, "I'll never be like that."  In both cases influence is energizing. 

"Excuse me Boss from Hades, have you considered...?"

Excuse me Mr. Boss have you considered...?  One of the characteristics I've found with leaders is their inability to comprehend the influence they have on others.  I've asked dozens of leaders and manager how much influence they thought they had on people and the answers were generally, "I'm not sure" or "I never thought about it."  Well, think about it.  When people aspire to leadership they place themselves in a glass house.  Employees watch how the leader acts and what the leader says.  Everything he or she does is judged right or wrong, caring or uncaring, and good or bad by the those they lead.  Each time the leader walks into a room the climate changes.  Each time he or she blames someone for a mistake or criticizes the company, or gossips about another person it impacts employees. 

So what's my point, think about the importance of leadership and the impact you have on people.  Leaders no longer have the luxury of criticism, gossip, or blaming.  Leaders set the "Energy Stage" in the company.  They can destroy the energy of the enterprise or they can increase it simply by words and actions.  If you are a leader or manager of any organization spend some time thinking about your influence and the impact you have on others.