Giving the Boss from Hades Time but not Energy!

You can give a person time, but not energy.  I know it seems impossible,
but it's not!  The first step is to accept the person where they are or for
what they are - impossible to deal with.  Here's the deal, we think we
can get everyone to communicate with us.  "Let me get a hold on him,
I'll make him talk!"  That's a myth.  People choose to communicate or
not to communicate.  If he is choosing not to communicate no prompting
in the world is going to make him open up.  So, accepting a person just
as they are allows us to get over our need for them to be the way we
want them to be.  The decision to accept belongs to you.

The second step for giving time, but not energy is to never explain,
defend or justify your actions to this type person.  It's a complete waste
of energy.  Generally he or she is not interested in explanations or
justification.  The more you try to explain the deeper the energy drain
you get yourself into.  Provide facts and ask questions for clarification,
when necessary.  Both of these steps will take time but you won't drain
energy trying to make him a better communicator.

Best to you all,

Dr. Bob

Comments

[Michelle]

Great article and website. Keep up the good work and the energy.